Test of Love: Approaching a Loved One About Eating Disorders

Approaching someone about their eating disorder is probably one of the harder tests of friendship and love that a person could have to do. Friendship alone should be enough for you to be able to overcome a fear of approach, but there are certain steps to take to ensure the point comes across clearly.

One of the most important points is not to talk about food or weight. This might seem like the issue, but the real issue is the health of the person you are approaching. Not talking about weight also includes avoiding comments about appearance. Never try to force them to eat because that is going to make them angry and avoidant of you.

Anger and denial are to be expected when you approach someone. Do not try to take control of the person and their eating habits unless they are dangerously underweight, or purging several times a day. Instead, the proper approach would be to bring up the subject, and kindly assure them that you will always be there for them, and they should come to you whenever they feel like they need to.

Listen to the person, and do not snap quickly with advice or opinions. Trust is built on your kindness, so your skills at listening will help you define that trust. Also, if you listen to them you might gain precious insights into their life and affliction. You can not blame the individual at anytime because this is only going to create stress and possibly anger towards you.

Unless you are actually a trained mental health professional, you should not try to be one. You should gently encourage them to seek help, but do not try to diagnose and treat them. You have to know your limits, and for most people that is just lending a kind ear, and being there as emotional support.

Finally, before you even sit down and talk to someone about a possible eating disorder, make sure you have solid evidence behind your claim. Observe for a week at least and make sure that the signs are there so you don't get in an arguing match over facts. Signs to look for are skipping meals, obsessive exercise, purging after meals, difficulty concentrating, tiredness, depression and irritability. It might also be a good idea to check their medicine cabinet for laxatives and/or diet pills. If a number of these signs show up repeatedly throughout your observation, and you have the knowledge about the disorders, then it is time to lend your support to your friend or family member.

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